"As soon as I decided to meditate every day, my life turned upside down several times and I got into a drag again (instead of the other way around). I've been under a lot of pressure lately, which is starting to show on the physical side (and autoimmunity). In fact, I see in mastering the second lesson of the Ruler of the Force's path of hope and the right direction to cut off my situation, it's just as if I'm being held by four strong bodyguards and they don't want to let me in the present moment, calm down, breathe ... Do you have any advice for me please? "
The moment we decide to make any change in our lives, the feedback comes completely automatically in the form of doubts about the decision and our mind can produce a lot of relatively good arguments as to why what we are trying to do is stupid, and we should go do something more useful, at best, we can come up with an alternative to our decision that will "certainly be much better."
Let's take a specific example: In the morning we sit in meditation and set an alarm for 10 minutes. We made the decision to meditate for 10 minutes. With this thought, we sit down, close our eyes, and begin to observe our thoughts. In about 3 to 5 minutes, thoughts come: “What am I doing here? That's how I waste my time, I have to wash the dishes. And I still won't learn to meditate like this, I'll try something else tomorrow. ”So we get up and go live in the old automatic mode. Where has our original decision of just 10 minutes, which we are devoting to ourselves, gone?
A few minutes ago, meditation came to us as the best thing we could do for ourselves, and now we think it's better to go wash the dishes. Why did a completely contradictory idea suddenly win?
We feel that we want to be safe, or how it works with the comfort zone?
Imagine our mind as the house of a very shy and suspicious dwarf. He has lived in his house quite happily and calmly for 18 years, 25 years, 30 years (how old are you?) and uses the same things every day. He loves order, so he wraps each activity and thing in a neat package with a bow and name tag and assigns it a place of honor in his house. He is thus assured that what is inside his house is safe and provides him with the living comfort to which he is accustomed. However, one day he complains to us that he wants to learn Spanish. And so one beautiful day we come to him and enthusiastically hand him a Spanish textbook into his house.
The dwarf is a little confused, scared, but excited at the same time. But before he neatly packs the textbook and gives it a bow with a name tag, he leaves it lying on the table for a few days and observes it closely.
"I already have little space in the house, now I should be looking for a place for a new package. I missed that so much. "
And so 3 days pass, when we enthusiastically learn new Spanish words. But then the tide turns and the dwarf becomes insecure.
"Hmm - he's probably serious about the Spanish. But I don't want to look for a new place. After all, the way I live here, I'm fine. What's going on here? I can't allow this. I won't change anything in my house and the textbook must be gone immediately. "
So the dwarf gets up and goes to talk to us. How? He speaks to us through our thoughts, in our voice… he is very deceitful. He knows very well that if he comes to us and scolds us, he will not achieve anything, he has to do this strategically, gradually, kindly. And so it begins:
"You have already learned 100 new words, today you can take a break. Yesterday was really challenging and you wouldn't focus enough on that anyway. "
And the dwarf rejoices. He won for today and continues tomorrow.
"I didn't get much sleep and I have to rest before the meeting. I'd rather have tea and play music. I will study tomorrow. "
Yuppie… 2:0 for the dwarf.
And this is how the dwarf continues for a few days, usually, a week is enough for him, then we stop paying attention to Spanish and he can clear the textbook from his house. Won! He will continue to live in his cottage, as he is used to, and will not let anything dangerous in there. What if we really learned Spanish? Will we travel then? Meet new people? Read foreign language articles? Are we going to constantly bring him newer and newer things that he will have to pack, name and find a new place in that crowded house? No… no way, we will stay nicely where we are, in our old hut, the comfort zone.
How to mature into a dwarf?
No matter how our inner dwarf speaks to us, uses the best arguments, we have to get to our goal every day. Make the decision every day that we want to live a better life and win over our dwarf. He soon realizes that packing a new thing doesn't have to be a nuisance, and on the contrary, he can enjoy it, and he turns from a nasty suspicious dwarf into an enthusiastic happy being who welcomes every new opportunity.
The dwarf is not alone - he lives in a huge village.
So we convinced our dwarf to pull with us on one rope. But there is another and even bigger problem. This original stunted dwarf is not alone in this world. He is surrounded by other stunted dwarves, who until now had lived happily together in the village, where everyone has a role to play and everything is set with the rule - Don't change anything.
But our dwarf began to change his house. He even started smiling and learning new things! What if he went crazy and will threaten them! The natives can't allow that!
And so, depending on their nature, they start persuading our dwarf to come back. Some persuade, others start cursing and attacking, some inconspicuously reorganize our dwarf's house. They will do absolutely anything just to keep the old village safe. And what should our poor cheerful dwarf do? He has several options:
- To be the greatest happy ignorant in the world and to continue his new happy lifestyle. So he convinces the other dwarves that his behavior is safe and does not harm them in any way. Just persevere again… overcome the initial pressure of the village and then it will be fine. He may even be an inspiration to other dwarves who will follow him. After all, our dwarf has survived long enough in the new lifestyle, so it looks safe. So why not try it too?
- Leave the village and establish a new settlement, to which he will invite as enthusiastic dwarves as he is himself. Everyone else is not allowed.
- Let yourself be convinced and become a stuck suspicious dwarf again. After all, there are so many of them, so they are probably right that there will be something strange about me.
Which option do you choose?
It is not enough to change only our conscious mind, but also our inner subconscious dwarf and then convince all the dwarves in the village that our behavior is safe. It's not an easy path, but if we persevere, we can end this story about us and our dwarf with the sentence: "They lived happily ever after."
What is your experience with the Dwarf?
"Well, I'm finally clear, finally someone explained it to me..DWARF ...this is what controls me :-) I will know about him from now on and I have him in the viewfinder, he will no longer hide behind something, his game is declassified. ..amazing, thank you. " Daniela Oulehlová
"I have a similar dwarf" Jitka Adamová
"I read an article dealing with the DWARF. And suddenly I realized that it was all about me, for me and my dwarf. Thank you, thank you, thank you (by the way, a great metaphor - dwarf and house - gifts, bows, wrap, save ), it brought me back beautifully… (I should cook dinner, unpack the purchase, send invoices, but I'm happy to write an e-mail for you .., I'm smiling, the sun is still shining outside, the dog is barking and I'm beautiful. .) I feel comfortable, beautiful, free..Everything will wait and I enjoy this writing.
My dwarf says, you can write it tomorrow, and tomorrow he will say: “Look, it doesn't matter at all if you won't have it today, you will write it tomorrow - that's it also a day, and then another tomorrow came in. And he will say, “Look, you have a lot to do today, it'll wait for that one more day when it lasts until now.” And then a visitor came and then we went on a trip and then I returned late and I wanted to sleep, then went to work, then shopping, cleaning, laundry, dishwasher, etc., etc. And now I understand that this is his excellent tactic. He is not angry, he doesn't shout, he just pushes and pushes and explains why he pushes away .. He's just a little naughty boy and he can do it very well and it took a while for me to discover his tactics. Thanks to you for pointing a finger at him and then I recognized him right away and saw him - now he's not hiding from me for anything and for anyone .. I have him in the viewfinder .. I won't jump on it anymore .. " Daniela Klidná
"Nice metaphor :). I finally have to kick him in the ass! " Dominika M.
Overcoming The Dwarf "This morning meditation was a challenge for me. I perceived pictures of meditating monks in the middle of the crowds for a long time, so I wanted to try it so much! How can they do it? Just be like that? In the beginning, I found twenty excuses in a minute as to why this was not possible, and it was a surprise to me that I was ashamed. How will they look at me? What will they say? So, surrounded by my family, I said out loud, I'm going to meditate. And nobody cared. My son sat on my lap and was satisfied, my grandmother sat next to me and read, my parents made coffee and had a morning discussion, and here and there came a concentration on the breath :-) but every day it's easier. After all, only practice makes a master :-) "
Aneta, Ruler of the Force. Graduate 2016